Success Skills
Do you want a quick software upgrade downloaded to your brain, ninja-skills in the matrix kind? Are you looking to add or improve a specific skill? Do you want to see what your mind can do?
Papparazi and blue-light car parade? Where? Exactly. This upgrade replaces distractions with laser-sharp attention, so you can finally finish what you start without getting lost in a YouTube rabbit hole. Want a little extra insurance?
New coverage: Liberally apply unbreakable concentration powers. There could be a zombi apocalypse going on around you and you won’t even blink.
Most people stop at “too hard.” You’ll stop at “mission accomplished.” This upgrade hardwires grit into your system, making challenges nervously quiver at the knees so they don’t even show up. Want a little extra insurance?
New coverage: Liberally apply unstoppable determination with a cheeky side of “watch me;).”
Big picture? You’ll see it. Hidden patterns? You’ll find them. This upgrade turns your mind into a supercomputer capable of solving problems before they even happen and building systems that generate varieties of outputs with minimal inputs. Want a little extra insurance?
New coverage: Liberally apply strategic genius-level thinking unlocked.
Life is unpredictable, but you? You’ll be smoother than a cat with magnetic velcro boots landing on its feet. This upgrade turns change into opportunity, so you thrive no matter what and enjoy the stretch. Want a little extra insurance?
New coverage: Mastery over uncertainty. Tuck, drop, roll and land in a perfect yoga-pose holding a glass of French bubbles without having spilt a single drop.
Confidence is great, but swagger? That’s next-level. This upgrade fine-tunes your vibe, so you radiate the kind of effortless cool that makes what you achieve look easy and people want to know your secret. Want a little extra insurance?
New coverage: Liberally apply the ability to walk into any room like you own it (and even the building and the heli-pad on top, too).
If fear has been driving, it’s time to take back the wheel. This upgrade reprograms hesitation into courage, so you start taking leaps instead of playing it safe. You are the badass that goes and gets what you want form life. Want a little extra insurance?
New coverage: Fearless action, zero regrets. Fear is for sissies.
If your mind folds faster than a cheap lawn chair under pressure, let’s reinforce that foundation. This upgrade turns stress into fuel and obstacles into mere speed bumps. Want a little extra insurance?
New coverage: Liberally apply a mental cement that laughs in the face of adversity as if you are watching a stand-up comedy show.
Success isn’t about being the smartest—it’s about being too stubborn to quit. This upgrade removes the “give up” button and replaces it with “try me.” Warning: May result in an embarrassing number of comebacks. Want a little extra insurance?
New coverage: Liberally apply the ability to keep going when most people tap out.
If your life currently feels like a GPS with no signal, it’s time to download the purpose patch. No more “what am I even doing?” pop-ups—just clear direction, deep fulfillment, and a reason to jump out of bed (instead of scrolling aimlessly for an hour). Want a little extra insurance?
New coverage: Liberally apply a life that actually makes sense, where every minute of every day is spent in conscious alignment with your overall objectives and purpose.
If adulting has made you allergic to joy, this update removes the “fun is unproductive” virus and reinstalls spontaneous laughter, weird dance moves, belly-aching giggles and the irresistible twinkle in your eye.
New coverage: Liberally apply unlimited playfulness, zero boring days. Life is your playground and the people around you, comedians put there for the sole purpose of entertaining YOU. And yes this is legal.
Still processing last week’s curveballs? Upgrade to version Mentally Nimble 2.0. You’ll pivot, adapt, and move so fast that even problems will have trouble keeping up. Want a little extra insurance?
New coverage: Liberally apply lightning-fast reflexes for life’s unpredictable plot twists so you are always a step ahead..
Routine is fine—for robots. If your life feels like a long, slow-loading tutorial, this upgrade injects thrill, curiosity, and just enough recklessness to make things interesting without anyone ending up arrested. Want a little extra insurance?
New coverage: Liberally apply moments worth writing a movie about, (but better block your granny’s ears).
If life keeps throwing bricks at you, this upgrade turns you into a mansion-builder. No more getting knocked down and staying down—now, you’ll bounce back like a superhero with an unlimited respawn button. Want a little extra insurance?
New coverage: Liberally apply bulletproof mental armor with a cocky side of “nice try, life.”
Stress is so last season. This update installs inner peace, Zen-like patience, and the ability to remain chill even when your WiFi cuts out mid-Zoom call as you’re about to close the deal of a lifetime. Want a little extra insurance?
New coverage: Liberally apply serenity in even the most chaotic life.
If your get-up-and-go got up and left, this update fixes that. You’ll wake up fired up, unstoppable, and ready to conquer—without needing five alarms, a bucket of coffee or divine intervention. Want a little extra insurance?
New coverage: Liberally apply motivation on demand. A colony on Mars? How could they possibly get that done without you?